Who Takes Care Of the Finances In Your Family?

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Ideally, both people in a marriage should contribute equally to managing family finances. However, it usually one person in a relationship takes more responsibility of keeping track of family money.

During the times of Leave It To Beaver, tracking personal finances was a matter of traditional gender roles meaning men usually took care of the money. They would pay the bills and give their wife an allowance for groceries depending on the family’s need. I know some couples that still do this. The husband takes care of all the financial decisions and deposits money into their wife’s account for groceries and clothes for the kids.

Growing up, it seemed like my mom took care of most of the financial upkeep in our house. She’d pay the bills, budget for Christmas and school shopping, and go to the bank. It made sense. My dad was gone a lot with his job, so he probably didn’t have much of a clue when bills were due or even what bills we had. Of course when there was a big financial decision that involved a lot of money, my parents would consult with each other.

In my own family, I’ve taken on the job of keeping track of Kate and I’s finances. I go to the bank to deposit checks and keep tabs on our accounts. While I do a lot of the ministerial things, my wife and I constantly communicate about money. If I notice we’re overspending in an area, we’ll discuss what we can do to remedy it. If either of us wants to make a big purchase, we’ll discuss it with each other and make sure we can afford it. It seems to work for us. I enjoy planning and scheming on how to save and make more money. I also find going to the bank to be extremely satisfying. So taking on this job hasn’t been a burden at all for me. Kate’s happy with the arrangement as well. She’s not a big fan going to the bank and paying bills.

For those of you who are married, who takes care of the finances? The husband or the wife? Or have you figured out a way where both contribute equally? If you’re not married, who took more of the responsibility in keeping tabs on the family’s finances? Your mom or dad?

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10 Comments

1. James Pegram on 21.09.2007 at 12:39 (Reply)

   Oh without a doubt she does. If left up to me, I’d have so many toys we’d surely be broke three or four times over… I either ask for what I want or beg for forgiveness.. lol

2. Ben Keele on 21.09.2007 at 13:03 (Reply)

   My mom mostly handled the money when I was growing up. However, I like dealing with money and my wife hates it. So, I take care of financial matters.

3. Maggie on 21.09.2007 at 14:00 (Reply)

   Like Ben, my mother was/is the banker in the household when I was growing up. I honestly don’t think my father would have a clue about how to manage without her.

   In my house, I am the one that handles the tracking, budgeting, long-term financial planning, and other household finances as well. It’s not that my husband couldn’t handle this stuff if necessary, but I actually enjoy all the number-crunching, so he’s happy to let me be the family accountant.

   We do discuss all major purchases, shared financial goals, and debt repayment plans, though, and I make sure to let him know how we are doing financially each month.

4. Sydney on 21.09.2007 at 14:31 (Reply)

   I’m not married, but I do have a live-in boyfriend and we share expenses. I take care of anything and everything to do with finances. I keep track of our budget, when our student loans come in, etc. Like you, we’ll consult each other before making any large purchases, but for the most part, I’m in charge.

   1. Brett McKay on 21.09.2007 at 20:09 (Reply)

      Was there anything in particular that led to you and your boyfriend’s arrangement? Do you like dealing the finances more, does your boyfriend hate crunching numbers, or that’s just the cookie crumbled?

   2. Brittany on 22.09.2007 at 12:00 (Reply)

      This is my situation too. My boyfriend moved into an apartment I already lived in and I had a “system” for paying the bills already so it just stuck. I wrote everything down, mailed the checks, and then at the first of the month he gave me his half of rent+all utilities. When we moved to a new state some bills were in his name and I expected he’d know how to handle that…turns out he’s pretty helpless when it comes to balancing a checkbook and remembering that if you don’t pay your bill on time you will be charged a late fee… After a couple frusterated months I gave up and took over again, even the bills that are technically “his”.

      We have seperate bank accounts, so we rotate purchasing groceries or a “date night” every so often. Any large purchases are discussed and researched together.

5. Brett McKay on 21.09.2007 at 20:07 (Reply)

   James- You know the old saying, James. “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.”

   Ben and Maggie- It looks like the same dynamic that’s going on in your relationships is what’s going on in mine. I love crunching numbers and dealing with money, but my wife hates it.

6. Jamie on 24.09.2007 at 07:33 (Reply)

   I’m married and I handle all of our finances. All the bills were already in my name and I was used to paying them when I got married and my husband moved in. You could say that my “system” was already established. In reality, I really like dealing with the money. I like trying to figure out how to save a little here and there and moving money into savings or mutual funds. My husband, bless his cute little heart, has no idea how much we spend on electricity or car insurance. I don’t think he even knows that I use online bill-pay. He gets a weekly allowance for whatever he wants to buy. He seems to be perfectly content and he likes getting an allowance because then he can buy whatever he wants without having to consult anyone.

7. Carol on 26.09.2007 at 11:32 (Reply)

   I hate the “it is easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission”, in our house when my husband pulls that I get another cat and since he is not overly fond of cats and every time he sees the cat he is reminded of the beg issue, he has refrained from doing this ;o). He does the finances because he is an accountant but we do discuss when things are over $50 for our personal use like his books

8. 120th Carnival of Personal Finance :: My Retirement Blog on 01.10.2007 at 09:21

   […] Brett McKay from The Frugal Law Student presents Who Takes Care of the Finances in Your Family. […]

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