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How to Get a Free Massage


Do you ever get knots in your back? I have perhaps one of the knottiest backs in the world. I hate them as they are rather uncomfortable and make my back feel tense. The only remedy for the knots is a good back rub. We obviously can’t afford for me to have a professional masseuse work them out (although I certainly fantasize about it and especially about having one of those hot stone massages, ahhhhhh). But that is just a knotty fantasy. And giving yourself a backrub is about as effective as tickling yourself. So my only other option was to have Brett rub them for me. But he was none too happy to remove his nose from the books to administer a backrub, and his thumbs are weaklings; they have no real rubbing stamina at all. He could never rub the knots long enough to really destroy them.

I have however discovered a solution to my knotty woes. A friend showed me how to do a truly effective and completely free self-massage. First, you take a tennis ball and stick it into a long sock. Then, swing it over your shoulder so it is hanging down your back. Next, lean into a wall so that the ball is between the wall and your back. Finally, move your back up and down and side to side so that the ball rubs your knotty places. Don’t be afraid to really dig them out, but you should only experience “good” pain (the “ooooh, ahhhh” pain) and not bad pain (the “ouch” pain). Keep rubbing until satisfied. You’ll look pretty funny (much like a bear itching himself on a tree) but it is really effective and feels fantastic. I can seriously stand there for 20 minutes doing it. After a few days of this “treatment” my knots were almost gone.

So as the semester heats up and the stress lodges in your back, take time out for a free massage!